Monday, February 06, 2012

Songs Heard Through the Fog

On my walk this morning it was dark and foggy. Recent weeks have battered me to a point of exhaustion and sadness, so I started walking with a desire to connect with God in a new way. I am desperate these days to hear from God, to see his face, but to be honest most of the time I vacillate between lethargic boredom and compulsive escape and grasping. I long for consistent passion, where I move intentionally into life and relationships with hope and purpose born out of what Dallas Willard calls an “experience based confidence in the love of God.” Most of the time I just stare at the walls and eat another twinkie. Lord, have mercy.

As I walked through the dense mist, I could hear birds singing above and beyond me. At first it seemed odd. I couldn’t see any birds, only 10-20 feet around and above me. The contrast I was sensing was very stark – though it was very dark and misty where I was, it was if the birdsong was above and untouched by the fog. It cut through it and reminded me that though I walk through the “dark valley of the shadow of death,” there remains a reason to sing, a reason that is “alien” to me, up and above me.

The birds ministered to me this morning as I walked through the fog. The Son will eventually cut through the fog; as I wait, he meets me in the midst of the soupy confusion with his mercy and grace. That’s what the birds were singing about, and I can only hope that one day I will join them with an even greater gusto. Thanks, Jesus, for meeting with me in the fog, and sending your birds as messengers of grace.


Andy said...

Loved these last two posts!

John Fontaine said...

Scott: Keep walking through any and all fog - some, I believe in my walking with God, is intentional by Him while some is also intentional by the enemy. I am getting...more and count on God being God and sometimes bringing the fog around me so I will have no other choice but to completely rely on Him as I so have the habit of falling so far short of doing as I wish I could. Way to also hear God's messengers in the songs of the birds, even though you couldn't see them. I pray your heart continues to stay open to God's messages all around you brother. I support you, man - you have my sword!

Scott said...

thanks dear brothers!!