Monday, May 15, 2006


The retreat went pretty well, though unspectacular.

The Lord spoke strongly me of things that I needed to be reminded of. Things having to do with his heart toward me, and his heart throughout history. I have forgotten how much he loves me, and thus my Christianity has become variations on duty. It's so hard for me to trust God as he is, as he presents himself because he is not tame-able, not safe in the sense of guaranteeing comfort in this life. He is wild, even unpredictable at times. This aspect of God's heart sometimes repels me, and other times attracts me.

I will try and post some pictures from the retreat soon . . .

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


I am going on retreat this weekend to the Abbey of Gethsemani just outside of Bardstown, Kentucky ( This is my 3rd year in taking bi-annual retreats at the Abbey, and I am hopeful of sweet communion with Jesus.

Though I can do without the Catholic tradition/superstition that permeates the place, the silence and solitude are enamoring for me. I'm like a fish put back into water for a while. I wish Protestants cared about stuff like this; on the whole, Protestants haven't cared much about spirituality at all.

Man, I suck

I have neglected my web presence. I am repenting in webdust and webashes. I will hopefully get back in good graces soon.

Most of my writing has been in my journal as I try to process deep pain from my past and stop running from it or numbing it.