A Momentary Prayer

Father, I so quickly forget.

I’m sorry.

I quickly take the reins and try to make things happen, mainly because I’m so scared that no one else will.

I’m terrified that no one good and strong is on my side.

I’m so used to being on my own, trying to make things happen, that I hardly know anything else.

Have mercy on me, Jesus. I’m so tired.

Jesus, the One who holds all reality together, who holds the entirety of my story within your praying life;

Jesus who knows all my fears, desires, memories and attachments;

Jesus, the One who knows it all and who loves me most –

 

I trust you.

Not for anything heroic, Lord.

I’m much too weak and foolish for that. I have no idea what I want or need, let alone have the means to make anything substantial happen.

All I have is this moment, and in this moment, weak, naked and afraid, I trust you simply because you’re good, tender, strong and kind.

Father, I abandon myself to you, never to be abandoned again. I don’t need to know what tomorrow holds; all I need is right here, right now – with you.

Make a way for me - here and now and throughout this day - a simple, solid way of walking with you.

May I not be so quick to forget;

May I be quick to remember your love, quick to trust it.

May I be slow to worry, slow to anger, slow to fear, slow to run.

 

May I be wholly yours in this moment.

Abba, I belong to You.

As I Lay Dying . . .

As I lay dying . . .

I regret not accumulating more stuff;

I regret not filling my time with more busyness;

I regret not using my friendships to advance myself;

I regret all the time wasted on relationships;

I regret not making myself sound and look better;

I regret trying new things;

I regret risking the risk of trusting God;

I regret wasting time with my children;

I regret not being more impressive and intelligent;

I regret all the books I haven’t read;

I regret letting love slow me down;

I regret not worrying more;

I regret all the time wasted on fairy tales;

I regret being over doing; becoming over attaining;

I regret letting family get in the way of my career;

I regret listening to God instead of taking charge;

I regret waiting instead of making things happen.

 

Said no one ever.