A July Memorial: Faithfulnesses Piled High

July 2014 has special significance for me. It marks 25 years walking with Jesus and 20 years of marriage with my beautiful bride, Cheri. These two relationships are the most important in my life, and their existence and continued growth continue to humble and befuddle me with mystery, holiness and grace.

As I look back, I’ve been passed by many believers far more gifted and on fire than I was, only to encounter their shipwrecked hulls several years later. Many marriages too, tanked and beyond repair, lie on the rocky outcrops of human self-will.

I don’t point this out to pat myself or my marriage on the back, quite the contrary – I have no idea why it’s been like that. When a friend heard it was our 20th anniversary this month, he asked, “20 years, eh? I guess you have everything figured out by now!” I answered, “No, but we’ve learned that we are free from having all our questions answered.”

The faithfulness of Jesus persists (Lamentations 3:22-24). This is the only reason why I’m still a disciple of Jesus happily married to Cheri. So, to give praise where it is due, I’ll simply quote my favorite Matt Redman song and fade into the background. Thank you, Jesus.

"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=722zPX1npcA

 

Relational Manifesto

[This came out of a time of wrestling with God this morning that brought me significant peace and freedom as I agonized over a close relationship; consider it a document “in process” – like me]

I stand, safe and secure, in the vast abundance of God’s Kingdom as a disciple of Jesus.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I have everything I need (Ps 23:1 NLT)

I am created for relationship by a relational God.

The core of all reality is Trinitarian intimacy and joy. All reality is therefore relational reality.

Jesus is the Master of all relationships, and is uniquely qualified to teach me all that I need to know to live eternally now, in the midst of temporal circumstances and relationships.

I am free from having to have my own way in relationships and circumstances.

I no longer “need” to be understood or accepted by other people. I have more than enough love, acceptance and forgiveness with God in his Kingdom.

I have relational needs that God intends to be met by other people (and I participate in meeting others’ needs). But, I am not in control of how or when those needs are met. I trust God to meet my relational needs, even what I need from others. I do not dictate my needs to others; rather I ask.

I can ask others (simply, honestly) for what I need, avoiding the common tactics of condemnation and manipulation of feelings.

In the asking of others, I seek to do so in such a way to give them the genuine dignity and freedom to respond as they wish, leaving the outcome to God.

I am free from keeping score of wrongs.

I am free from the tactics of attack and withdrawal.

I am free to love others for who they are, where they are, without regard to how they respond to me.

HUGE CAVEAT - Experience of brokenness and deep pain throughout this process!!

There will be times of deep and profound anguish as these things are worked out in the daily grind of real relationships – their give and take, wounding and healing.

Have patience with yourself, above all treat yourself (and others, when you can) with extreme tenderness. “Love others the way you love yourself,” the Master said.

God is holding you and the entire process. Realize that our “relational template” or the ways we relate and attach to God and others is severely disabled, corrupted and even dead in places. Deep healing and resurrection will be available in God, taking much time and tears.

This is what community is for.