Thursday, July 26, 2007

I believe in the Church?

My relationship with my local church and The Church universal is an act of faith. I have recently discovered, with sadness, that I am on the outside looking in when it comes to God working in and through the church. I have lost almost all heart that I have a place in the church, I have lost all desire to look for it anymore. Even when invitations are extended to me to "find my place" I am indifferent.

I don't know what I expect from the church.

I have also begun to realize, again with great sadness, how judgmental and critical I am of the church and the individuals within it. It seems I have always carried around issues with church that I've avoided dealing with by finding a "better" one. Well, now that I can't imagine anything better, I am stuck; forced to deal with my sinful self-protection that must eventually malign others to stay safe.

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