I don't know how to walk in my new self while being real, in touch with my brokenness. I definitely know how to walk in my old self. It is what feels most natural, even good and right, but it's not.
The models of most in my church (and throughout my christian experience) is of the "I've arrived" type. I call this the "victorious christian self" that works hard to conceal any vestige of struggle or besetting sin. "I used to struggle with pornography every day, but God delivered me . . . "
Rarely do I hear someone say, "The truest thing about me is my new self in Christ. I'm loved, holy and forgiven. But I am not walking in that reality much of the time. Instead I walk in my old self and most of the time don't even know it" (or some variation).
Where is "process"?
Some passages I've been reflecting on:
Ephesians 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Romans 6:5-7
If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
What I seek is an authentic, wholehearted eternal kind of living that is real. Not finished, not having arrived, but in process with holy love as the goal and the motivation.
