Yet will I trust in Him

Hab 2:4, “the righteous will live by his faith.” (NIV)

Hab 3:17-19 (NIV)
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

As I read this expression of Habakkuk’s faith I was dumbfounded. How could anyone trust God so completely? A current paraphrase might be:

Though the economy crumbles and gas prices soar,
Though the store shelves are bare and my cupboards too;
Though there is no gas in my car and no family left,
Though there is no source of income or sign of provision;

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my Savior, for the Sovereign LORD is my strength.

I long to be able to trust like this. I have been reflecting on the barriers that exist between my head and my heart in light of Robert McGee’s book, “From Head to Heart,” which I recently (providentially) found at a thrift store for 35 cents.

One of the first barriers he discusses is that of language, and how the Christian words we know and use rarely reach our hearts. These include words like “Holy” and “Grace.” One of the things that resonated deeply with me was his thought that when we suffer, we often stop trying to know God and instead start demanding that we understand him. We basically want to restore a sense of control through nailing down God’s motivation in his choices for our lives (whatever his role in causation is – either he causes or allows things to happen).

I soon was convicted of this. I have stopped trying to get to know God for who he is in himself; I only want (no, demand!) to know him in order to explain what has happened to me so that there can be some therapeutic benefit. What is need is to kneel before God in humility, confessing my lack of understanding, letting go of all demands and embrace trust.